Language Lessons

MTC teachers never teach the important stuff.

Win a Copy of The A-MAZE-ing Book of Mormon

Right now there are a couple of places on the web where you can win a free copy of The A-MAZE-ing Book of Mormon. First, you can enter a give away at Mormon Mommy Blog, but you might end up with another prize (like a women's dress--not cool for our male readers). Or you could enter at LDS author Nichole Giles' blog.

Personally, I'd enter at Nichole's blog as your odds seem better (and there's no chance you'll end up with a back razor), plus, the book is autographed. But you'd better hurry. The deadline for the Mormon Mommy Blog is midnight tonight and it's Wednesday night for Nichole's blog.

Back to School

Here's a gag the New Era published several years ago. It was the first gag I submitted to them that wasn't LDS specific. Since then, I've submitted a handful of other secular jokes. But whenever possible I always try to add something in the picture that ties it into the Church. Usually, it's a picture of the temple or a BYU pennant.

This time I had the foresight to include a photograph of David Archuleta inside the girl's locker. Pretty remarkable when you consider that this gag was published some two years before Archuleta competed in American Idol.

The Missionary Training Center

This week marks the beginning of school in these parts. To celebrate (or commiserate, depending on who you are), I'm sending Elder Van Dyke through the Missionary Training Center. I'll run strips of the MTC from now until the end of September.

Of course a big part of the MTC experience is the tearful goodbye as the missionaries exit one door and their families exit another after a short orientation meeting where all anyone remembers is the amount of Cap'n Crunch consumed in a year.

They'd Never Be Able to Call Them Rest Hymns Again

"The choir will now sing 'Stairway to Heaven'."

Missionaries Cooking Badly Part 4

You knew it had to end badly. Using the equation 350 x 9 ÷ 5 + Google searched for answer gets you 662º Fahrenheit.

Scout Knots

Summer's coming to a close, there's just enough time to squeeze in one more Boy Scout joke.

Missionaries Cooking Badly Part 3

Here's this weeks chapter in the four-week saga. The denouement comes a week from today. The suspense must be killing you.

A Zoology Lesson for the Rest of You

As an undergraduate at BYU, I got myself into some sort of predicament. I picked a major that I quickly discovered I hated...zoology. The coursework was (a) too boring and (b) too difficult. Since I had no aspirations of becoming an (a) zookeeper or (b) medical doctor, it really made no sense to pursue it. But since I was naturally lazy, I didn't change majors (too much work) and did graduate with a zoology major. (Later I completed a masters program in a completely different field, highlighting just how lazy I was--I was willing to go through another two years of school rather than change majors as a sophomore.)

The reason I share this long-winded story is so you'll understand how pleased I am with this week's comic. My zoology degree has finally paid off!

I'm glad that a decade later, my Mom and Dad have something to show for four years of tuition.

Missionaries Cooking Badly Part 2

This joke all hinges on hard-to-understand recipe instructions. I spent hours combing through the cookbooks in my home only to find the instructions above. I'm not entirely satisfied with them, either. It turns out most cookbooks (at least the ones in my home) are pretty easy to follow.

If any of you have some cookbook directions that are better; pass them along in the comments section, I'll change the wording of this strip, and you can relish in the knowledge that you've contributed to a comic strip.