Return Missionary Dance Moves

Today’s gag makes me think of the numerous talks given in last week’s General Conference urging the young single adult men of the Church to be anxiously engaged in getting engaged. The whole thing makes me smile because, as a happily married husband, I can look back on my single years with fondness.*

The one time in my life that I went to a dance club was a few days after I came home from my mission. I went at the insistence of an old mission companion. It was probably the most harmless dance club in the world (located in Provo, Utah in the heart of BYU), but to me it was terrifying. Not just because I couldn’t dance, but because to my addled RM mind all the girls there were predators.

I especially remember one girl visiting with me a little bit and then offering me a piece of gum. I made some excuse and hi-tailed it out of there because I was sure her gum was just some ploy to get me to kiss her or something. When in actuality, she was probably just offering some gum.

I guess my point in sharing this story is to tell the young single adults of the Church that I’ve been there and I know how hard it can be some times and I wish you the best. Oh, and, girls, don’t offer recently returned missionaries gum--they hate that!

*Mostly because tragedy plus time equals comedy.