Happy Halloween?

When counting contacts for weekly statistics, do missionaries only include those above a certain age? Because otherwise, the week of Halloween would produce the best numbers of the year.

Obligatory Halloween Post

Truth be told, Frankenstein and his bride* never had a good marriage. In fact, they were never married at all. Upon her creation, the "bride" of Frankenstein let out a shriek when she saw her would-be groom and a dejected Frankenstein** destroyed the laboratory, his "bride", and himself.

They're kind of horror's version of Romeo and Juliet.

*She was never given a proper name.

**Neither was Frankenstein, he's simple referred to as "the monster". Frankenstein--as I'm sure you already know--was the name of the mad scientist who created him. Despite that fact, the name Frankenstein has stuck with the monster.

Smile!

Nephite GPS

Today's gag is featured in this month's New Era. I'm happy with it because it's two jokes in one. (Even if I plagiarized myself for one of those jokes.)

What's the Difference

There's been a lot of talk about how foreign the LDS Church is to other Christian denominations in the media recently. On my mission, I had the exact opposite problem: convincing people that there was a difference between our Church and their Church.

When we'd say, "We believe in eternal marriage and that God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three, separate beings."

We'd often get, "Yeah, we believe that too." And then we'd have to teach them what their Church believes as well as what our Church believes.

Hey Jude

Here at Mormon Cartoonist, we're always striving to stay on the cutting edge of everything, which is why today's gag hinges on a song released in 1968.* Look for jokes on Louis XIV and Seward's Folly in the weeks to come.
Incidentally, I have no doubt that this joke has been done somewhere before. "Hey, Jude" is a monster hit from the biggest band ever that's been around for 43 years. Plus, there's nothing here that makes it LDS-specific. But as always with this blog, you get what you pay for.

*"Hey Jude" was written by Paul McCartney to comfort John Lennon's son, Julian, over his parents' divorce. John had recently left his wife to be with Yoko Ono. McCartney's original lyrics were "Hey Jules," but he changed them because he thought Jude sounded better, better, better, BETTER.

Girls are Weird?

After dealing with the idiosyncrasies of nearly a dozen mission companions on my mission, I found dealing with married life a breeze.

Sins of Omission, Commission, and...

Today's gag comes from faithful reader Rick L.

October 2011 General Conference Recap

Here is your recap packet for the just concluded General Conference. I hope this proves useful to you in your primary or Sunday School classes or Family Home Evenings; because after listening to Elder Arden's talk Saturday afternoon on using time wisely, I wondered if there wasn't something else I should be doing with my time (I've still got some levels of Angry Birds yet unconquered*).

UPDATE: A printable pdf version of the packet is now available at sugardoodle.net.

*I joke. Not about the unconquered levels of Angry Birds--I'm horrible at that game; but at finding something better to do with my time. If nothing else, these packets force me to pay better attention during General Conference.

Planning for the Future

As a missionary, girls became these strange, exotic, and mysterious things (wait, strike that, they were strange, exotic, and mysterious prior to my mission too); but I was glad after my mission to find the very girl Elder Van Dyke described in today's strip.

My mission wasn't the best two years of my life--I'd take any combination of my married years over it--but it was still pretty great. I really liked the way Brother Richardson put it in his talk yesterday at General Conference, a mission is the best two years for your life.

Speaking of conference, I'm going to make every effort to have my conference review packet up on this page sometime this afternoon.* In the meantime, you'll want to check out Kevin Beckstrom's humorous take on conference.

*Mountain daylight time.