Primary Presentation

As I've had it explained to me, a ward's budget is calculated through some combination of sacrament attendance and the size of a ward's young men, young women, and primary. As far as sacrament attendance goes, wards--like television shows--have sweeps weeks. Attendance for the sacrament meetings in the third month of each quarter are counted and submitted to Church headquarters. Thus if you're going to have a meeting consisting of two outgoing missionaries and one returning missionary,* you'd better hope it falls in the month of March, June, September, or December.**

Ironically, the primary presentation (which is one of the biggest attended sacrament meetings of the year) seldom falls on a counting month. Most wards hold them in November. Perhaps this is why a desperate bishopric might be tempted to look to schedule an additional three primary presentations in a year.***

*Like our ward did.

**It did.

***Don't worry, Primary Presidents, the church handbook prohibits any such shenanigans--it clearly spells out that there shall be one presentation per year held during the fourth quarter of that year.