I actually love this idea and might just have to use it the next time I'm giving a talk in sacrament meeting.* The one choice I won't include in my wheel is the "for those of you who don't know me, my name is..." line. That's a personal pet peeve. You don't need to start your talk this way--after all, your name is in the program and the member of the bishopric conducting the service did just announce you.
Still, I appreciate anyone who'll stand before a congregation and give a sacrament meeting talk, regardless of any beginning of the talk crutch he or she might use. It's about the only way a church with a local lay ministry could function.
Interestingly, these crutches used at the beginning of talks aren't limited to sacrament meetings. I subscribe to the BYU Speeches podcast and you wouldn't believe the number of BYU devotionals which begin with some kind of variation of "When I was a student attending these devotionals there is no way I ever would have guessed that I would be on this side of the podium." Just once I'd like a BYU devotional speaker to start her address with "Yeah, I totally knew from my first devotional on BYU campus that I'd be asked to address you. I'm just surprised it's taken this long for the administration to ask me to speak."
*Although, I might spin my wheel at home (the church handbook discourages props during sacrament meeting).
My father once presented the prizes at a college. He opened his speech "I expect you are all sitting there thinking that if you were giving the speech today you could do a better job than the speaker. I used to think that too..."
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